Proof of my Mandarin/ Putonghua prowess

After three months of classes, I finally got my Basic Chinese 1 certificate from the Confucius Institute. Sweet. Now I can say hello, tell people what I want (coffee, mostly...), ask someone's nationality and profession, introduce myself, introduce people, count, ask for permission, look for someone, say goodbye, ask directions, make suggestions/invitations, to name a few. But that doesn't mean that I can now conveniently hop on a plane to China. There's still a lot I don't know...like how to read. The little Kanji I know from basic Nihongo isn't much help. Besides, this certificate is only a piece of paper. The real prowess is in making actual, meaningful conversations with people.

My teacher, when he asked each student in class to recite a passage from our textbook, said I could go to China now, though. But he didn't mean that literally. He just meant that my pronunciation was close enough to how real Chinese people say it.

So I will attend Basic Chinese 2 this coming May. I will take it along possible Saturday afternoon classes on photography (lighting) and basic photo editing, offered by a different organization, of course. These will keep me busy and productive and maybe, just maybe, closer to my full potential. Well and good.

That girl with wanderlust

I've always assumed I didn't have much of an identity here at the office...until today. All of us at the department were eating Ms. H.'s birthday treat of noodles, barbecued pork, and puto when somebody really smart pointed out that since we were all in one place already, then we should start planning the office summer outing together.

So ideas were bounced back and forth: a beach trip (but some people don't want to get sunburned), a cultural/ food trip at historic Binondo (but some people don't fancy walking under the sun, and they find culture trips boring), an uber-expensive buffet lunch at Circles plus a day off from work (but some people thought it was too ordinary), a day at a country club in Tagaytay (but some people have been there already), and a lot more.

We obviously did not agree on anything, due to our varied interests. Therefore, Ms. H. thought that the best solution would be to assign a "committee" that will think of possible destinations that will fit our (office) budget.

Guess who's in the "committee"? Me. But thing is, I only have great travel plans for myself but I'm not sure if I can plan for other people. Because if I were an authoritarian ruler, I would insist on going on a cultural trip with lots of good food to boot. Like a museum trip plus a city trip where the architecture is great plus, food food fooooood...like dimsum at Chinatown!!!! Squee!

But of course, we are a democratic lot so everything must be done for the common good. L. and I brainstormed this afternoon. And we're crossing our fingers...

God is in the breeze, the scent of pine trees...

I never really saw Tagaytay beyond buko pie and Taal sightseeing, but having a spiritual experience at the place definitely changes your perception of it.

So the weekend retreat for Ateneo staff at the Canossa House of Spirituality went well. It went extremely well, in fact, that I feel so much better about things.

The simple truth is that God wants me back. I tried to resist, I went my own way, thinking I know myself enough to chart my future. But God is God and He makes all the calls. He loves me and will never allow me to lose myself with the wrong person. Careful planning is futile, because His thoughts are not my thoughts, my IQ is too above average to be a reliable arsenal for living, and my heart is too restless until it rests in Him.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, confiding that I am a bit afraid of my realizations. I am jealous of old couples holding hands at Church on Sundays. It is what I want for my own future. What if single blessedness is my fate? Wouldn’t that be too big a heartbreak?

“Naisip ko lang, baka naman hindi ka pang single-blessedness...Look at it this way, what if yung guy that GOD wants for you is super-duper deep in prayer life, mabait, malalim, interesting, etc. and you'll only be his perfect fit kapag you're at your full potential? Hindi kaya way din 'to ni God to prepare you for that kind of AWESOME union? By being closer to God, you transform into your better self di ba? Imagine at this state kung hindi ka prepared at magkita kayo nung guy? It's like him catching you with hair rollers and facial cream!” she said.

Okay, well put.

P.S. Thank you, brilliant minds of Ateneo! Thank you Fr. Dan McNamara! Thank you officemates! I hope this becomes a yearly thing, along with summer outings and Christmas parties.

* Photos taken by me. Top: View from my room at the Canossa House of Spirituality. Bottom: My favorite prayer spot during my retreat.

I was kissed by Fr. Reuter

Last Monday, I tagged along Ms. C., the On Campus magazine editor, and Ms. T., the graphic artist/camerawoman, to their interview with Fr. James Reuter SJ. We went to his office at Xavier House in Manila and conducted the interview there. I didn’t say much. I just plopped my recorder on the table, sat on one of the chairs, and listened to Fr. Reuter talk about his life. And what a fascinating life it is. I can’t say much right now, since everything will be in the next edition of On Campus. So watch for it!

What I can tell you though, was the silly school girl kind of joy I felt when Fr. Reuter greeted us with a kiss on each cheek. For some strange reason, I felt blessed and loved.

Retreat

It seems like there is no escaping quiet days with the Lord. The year 2006 was a very spiritual year for me, when I attended not one but two retreats in a row.

First was the Holy Week Triduum by the Center for Ignatian Spirituality (CIS) at the Loyola Heights campus. Second was the Retreat in Daily Life (RDL), also offered by CIS. I chose the 18th Annotation for my RDL, since I was just beginning to develop a serious prayer life.

To be more precise, the 18th annotation is "an adaptation of the Spiritual Exercises and is most suitable for those who are starting in their spiritual journey, or those who want to attend to their spiritual thirst or hunger" (http://retreatindailylife.blogspot.com/). It runs for 14 weeks.

So what did I do during these silent moments of prayer? I basically begged for direction in life. I was a bit lost. And I am now, still. I'm still not sure what's the right career track for me. I'm also not sure if I'm meant to be married or be content in single blessedness.

But the saving quality of those days spent with the Lord was that I was able to set some of my priorities straight. Now, I am sure that:

1) I'm not working for money. I'd like to have enough for a cozy house with a little vegetable garden, for one domestic and one international travel destination per year, and for my daily needs. I'm a simple girl that way.

2) I'm not meant to be a nun. Nor am I giving up hope on finding the right man. Only time will tell if I will be single and blessed, or blissfully married. Recent events in my life made me realize that I like the possibility of a married life, though.


The year 2007 was the year I read the whole Bible. My boss gave me a copy of "Our Daily Bread," which I religiously read day after day. It was the year I saw the beauty of love and creation.

I didn't think I'd be going to any retreat this year. I thought that I have no need for it yet, since I have yet to fulfill my realizations, anyway. But God has other plans. The Office for Mission and Identity and Organizational Development (OMIOD) organized a retreat for employees at the Canossa Retreat House in Tagaytay City.

There are two batches, one on April 11-13, and another on April 18-20. I'm attending the latter. And I know what questions I'll bring up to the Lord. And if you've been reading carefully, you'll figure they're the same things I've been asking since forever.

So wish me luck. Peace, love, and happiness.

*Photo taken by me of a crypt near the Ruins of St. Paul in Macau. There's a Jesuit buried inside, I think.

Harvey Keh on why Gawad Kalinga may not be enough

I'm posting an article written by youth leader Harvey Keh. I see myself in one of the types of youth he described. Can you see yourself, too?


Why Gawad Kalinga May Not Be Enough

By: Harvey S. Keh

In one of my interviews with ABS-CBN, the news reporter asked me, despite all the scandals and corruption (Hello Garci, 1 Billion Peso Fertilizer Scam, Irrigation Scam and 6 Billion Peso NBN-ZTE Broadband Scam) that have hounded this present administration, why do you think do majority of young Filipinos choose not to do anything about it. She further added that there seems to be no uproar from the Filipino youth and young professionals from all over the country, does that mean that we are okay with all these scandals that are mushrooming almost on a weekly basis? I asked these same questions to my students and friends and here are their answers (summarized already):

Student A: Sir Harvey, Naiinis naman talaga kami sa nangyayari pero wala naman kaming magagawa eh, estudyante lang kami at kahit sino namang ilagay sa gobyerno natin, pareho pa rin silang lahat na magnanakaw. They will only protect their own self-interests.

Student B: Sir, I'm not happy with how our country is being led by our government leaders but I think the best way I can contribute to this country is by becoming a good student, study hard, find a good job and be a good citizen in our country.

Yuppie A: I don't want to get involved in politics masyadong magulo yan kaya I'd rather just stick to doing my job well and helping my own family besides I'm already helping this country by helping send my younger siblings to school.

Yuppie B: I was part of EDSA II and actually took helped organize the concerts at the EDSA Shrine but as much as I'm very frustrated with how this government is being run, I am no longer convinced that political engagement is the way to go for our country. I would rather focus my energies and resources to helping NGOs and Foundations like Gawad Kalinga and Pathways.

Reflecting upon these answers which I also often receive from the emails Filipinos here and abroad send me, I believe that their answers are all valid and I respect them although I don't totally agree with all of them. Allow me to share with you what I think on each of these answers:

Student A's answer is typical of a person who is disgruntled with what is happening to our country but who apparently feels helpless about the situation. When I receive this kind of an answer from people and my students, I tell them about what they can do and organizations they can join like Team RP but when they are invited to take part in activities that aim to promote good governance and greater transparency in our government, they fail to join and act. Sad but true, many Filipinos just love to criticize and point out what is wrong with our leaders but when they are given an opportunity to act about these pressing issues, they refuse to make time and move out of their comfort zone.

Student B's answer is for me a selfish answer, yes, I believe that a student's main and foremost responsibility is to study hard and finish education but what about our own responsibility as citizens of this country? In a utopian society, this answer would have been okay but in our present situation as a country in crisis where the gap between the rich and the poor continue to grow and where more than 20 Million Filipino Families grow hungry each day, this is no longer acceptable especially for students and young professionals who study at the top universities and who come from the middle to upper class of our society. This answer is an easy cop out and it's selfish because at the end of the day, just by confining yourself to you own life won't help our country as much as it will help you.

Yuppie A and B's answer is all well and good since I admire them for continuing to work hard to provide for their families while at the same time continue to get involved with volunteer work for Gawad Kalinga and Pathways to Higher Education. I admit that I was like Yuppie A and B who just confined myself to working towards helping poor but deserving students go to college and finish their education but I realized that this isn't enough. I realized that if we are able to reform our government institutions and leadership then there won't be a need for organizations like Gawad Kalinga and Pathways. We need to realize that in order for us to help uplift the lives of the poor we need to attack the problem at its roots and that is the inability of our government systems to provide these basic services to them. Isn't the National Housing Authority supposed to be the one to help provide adequate shelter to every Filipino family? Isn't it the Department of Education's job to assist every Filipino child gain access to quality education? A recent study by the World Bank has said that more than 30 Billion Pesos goes to Corruption every year. Imagine if we are able to work together and pressure government into being more transparent and accountable towards curbing corruption then we would have more resources to provide housing for every poor family, irrigation and fertilizers to farmers (which would help alleviate our growing food crisis), higher salaries for our public school teachers, enough textbooks for our students and access to quality healthcare for every Filipino. Working for and helping Gawad Kalinga, Pathways and other non-profit organizations are very much needed in our society today but let us also not forget that unless we work hard towards fighting for and institutionalizing credible and lasting reforms in our government and its leaders, then we will always have to do the fire-fighting because we have failed to solve the cause of the fire.

In summary, what I would like to share with all of you are the following:

a.) We deserve the country that we have. If we want a prosperous and just country, then we should all work hard towards it. If you look at the history of South Korea and Singapore, they were able to turn their country around in less than 30 years, I believe we can do it in less time and do it even better if every Filipino will just care enough to go out of his or her way to help push for reforms in our government. As the saying goes, Walang makakatulong sa Pilipino kundi kapwa Pilipino rin.

b.) Genuine Hope of this country does not lie on our government and church leaders and especially not in the ruling elite and oligarchs, it rests in each one of us. As I have always said, every Filipino whether you live here or abroad can complain about the rampant corruption and problems that is present in our government but after the complaining have you asked yourself, what will you do about it? Are you willing to sacrifice some of your time and resources to making yourself heard by our government leaders? If we want change in our country, we need to change ourselves, change starts with each one of us. We need to stop making excuses about why we cannot act and why we cannot take part in actions that will reform our present government systems.

c.) If our government and its leaders were doing their job effectively then there wouldn't be a need for a Gawad Kalinga or a Pathways. I support and firmly believe in Gawad Kalinga, Pathways and other non-profit organizations that are working hard to deliver basic services to the poorest of the poor in our country but don't you think it's also time that we start holding government accountable to these basic services that they have failed to provide our people? Of course it will be harder to do this and it may take a longer period of time but if we are able to institutionalize these reforms then we will be able to make our government more efficient and effective and in the end we will be able to help not just seven thousand but seven million Filipino families.

I am not calling for another People Power Revolution nor am I asking for our President's outright resignation. I'm not also saying that people should quit supporting and volunteering for Gawad Kalinga and Pathways, in fact, I believe that we should continue to support these very laudable and inspiring initiatives. All I'm saying is that these efforts can only yield lasting benefits for the poor and the powerless if all of us would be more involved in activities and movements that would push for greater Truth, Accountability and Reform in our government because in these times of crisis, despair and growing hopelessness in our country, the poor can't wait and Gawad Kalinga may not be enough.

If by some chance you were moved to act by this email and want to join us in pushing for genuine and lasting reforms in our government, please let me know by sending an email to harveykeh@gmail.com

Harvey S. Keh is Director for Youth Leadership and Social Entrepreneurship at the Ateneo de Manila University-School of Government. Harvey as a Filipino social entrepreneur has co-founded Pathways to Higher Education-Philippines and AHON Foundation, both these organizations help in promoting access to quality education for every Filipino child. Aside from this, he is also Chairman of Team RP, a youth-led organization which is part of the BUSINA movement that promotes Truth, Accountability and Reform in our government.

The biology talk that turned into a career talk of sorts

I was expecting a biology talk that was way over my head, but instead I got valuable advice on life, drive, and passion. Professor Aaron J. Ciechanover, Nobel Laureate for Chemistry, was surprisingly down to earth during his talk titled “Life and death – Why our proteins have to die so we shall live” on April 3, 2008 at the Irwin Theater in Ateneo. He talked in a simple language, a language that appealed to all. His main message: "The prize is not the aim." More here.

P.S. I wrote it. Photo was taken by Teya Sabado. =)

Aviary in the Ateneo

When I was a college freshman, I signed up for a class called "Aviary in the Ateneo" at the Alternative Class Program (ACP). ACP is supposed to be this one day every year where students get to pick a non-academic class they're passionate about. Not that I'm passionate about birds. It was just that my friend Anna, whom I've known since high school and who was my college blockmate then, thought it could be a great class.

Note that the operative word was "could." We both did not know anything about birds. And neither could we believe that there were actually birds in urban Ateneo. But we had to give it a try. Or rather, Anna had to give it a try.

We were supposed to be at a certain place in Ateneo (I forget...you'll know why later) at (gasp!) 5:00 in the morning. When I learned that it was a 5:00-on-the-dot kind of thing, I secretly released a nervous gulp. 5:00???!!! Noooo wayyyy!

But I signed up for the class with Anna, anyway. I knew I won't be there at 5, but I pretended I'd be.

On the appointed date and time, Anna--who's usually late--was actually there. I was hoping Anna will be too lazy to come, too, but it turned out she was supremely interested in birds. She went there at 5, waited for me, and tried to enjoy bird-watching when she figured out I won't be coming. And she enjoyed it!

I knew she was a bit mad at me, but Anna doesn't get mad too long. She simply isn't the type who'd be. She's soooo nice. So I was forgiven.

I never saw birds during my four years of stay as a student. However, one summer morning in 2006, a few months after accepting my current job here in Ateneo, my editor pointed out the happy chirping of birds, and how the previous day, she watched those birds flit from one tree branch to another.

I guess I was a pretty lame person to share such a story to, because when she shared it with another officemate, a graphic artist, through telephone, they were both excited up to the point where our graphic artist officemate even went up to our room to view the birds through our window.

At first I couldn't relate with them while they were bird-watching. But as I watched some more, I began to see how cute and colorful birds can be. I saw birds I did not even know existed in Ateneo. These were beautiful birds, the kind you'd see in books about, well, birds.

Months later, while taking the Holy Week Triduum at the San Jose Seminary, I saw those birds again, flying freely. The seminary area was surrounded with trees, like a mini-forest, and I realized that birds could indeed live in Ateneo. That birds love it in this university. And that there really is an aviary in the Ateneo.

* Photo taken by Teya, in the summer of 2005, from my office window

A campus all to myself (well, sort of)

So it’s summer and the campus is quiet again. Katipunan is unclogged with cars and getting to work is a cinch. Students are on vacation, probably in some place swanky and cool, like Boracay or Bali.

This is also the time to put our vacation leaves to a deliciously delightful use. Or to plan a fun office outing. A lot of offices are “closing shop” for a day or two this summer for that yearly R and R. I wonder where my department is going this year. I'm excited!