I never really saw Tagaytay beyond buko pie and
So the weekend retreat for Ateneo staff at the Canossa House of Spirituality went well. It went extremely well, in fact, that I feel so much better about things.
The simple truth is that God wants me back. I tried to resist, I went my own way, thinking I know myself enough to chart my future. But God is God and He makes all the calls. He loves me and will never allow me to lose myself with the wrong person. Careful planning is futile, because His thoughts are not my thoughts, my IQ is too above average to be a reliable arsenal for living, and my heart is too restless until it rests in Him.
I was talking to a friend yesterday, confiding that I am a bit afraid of my realizations. I am jealous of old couples holding hands at Church on Sundays. It is what I want for my own future. What if single blessedness is my fate? Wouldn’t that be too big a heartbreak?
“Naisip ko lang, baka naman hindi ka pang single-blessedness...Look at it this way, what if yung guy that GOD wants for you is super-duper deep in prayer life, mabait, malalim, interesting, etc. and you'll only be his perfect fit kapag you're at your full potential? Hindi kaya way din 'to ni God to prepare you for that kind of AWESOME union? By being closer to God, you transform into your better self di ba? Imagine at this state kung hindi ka prepared at magkita kayo nung guy? It's like him catching you with hair rollers and facial cream!” she said.
Okay, well put.
* Photos taken by me. Top: View from my room at the Canossa House of Spirituality. Bottom: My favorite prayer spot during my retreat.
1 comments:
Yes, I hope that it becomes a yearly thing too. The faculty and staff of the academic units have it annually—we should too!
And about the guy thing. Honestly, stop worrying about it. Be whole on your own. Life partnerships are two whole, loving people sharing a love. It is not two halves making a whole.
When I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years (before Exie's time), I had accepted the possibility that I may not find another and that I may be single my whole life—I was all of 25 years old then! And look what happened. I actually found someone I could really talk to and respect. But even until now, I know that I am whole on my own. He is not, and can never be, the be-all and end-all of my life.
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